It's just been a whirlwind of emotions this weekend.

There was the picture of 6/2 class of 1999 uploaded on fb this week that attracted a whole lot of comments. Brought us all together, reminiscing the good ole times. Fb rocks, even if it makes a major major time-waster. Without it, there wouldn't be those random comments on random status updates/photos, and really, these random nothings are what gets people interested and updated and communicating and well, just closer.

Reassessment of priorities. Family, friends, the academics, canoeing, chilling out, sleep, me-time, they-time, teevee time, internet time, chatting time.. it used to be so clear. What I want, what I want to do, what I will do, nothing will move me. Now it's fuzzier, and the indecisiveness is getting worse. I think I've to start the whole psyching-self-up-every-morning thing again soon. Need to get real real work done.

I get these morbid thoughts sometimes. Like if I were in hospital, who would come visit me? If I met with a mishap, who would care for me? At my funeral, who would present the most defining eulogies, what would they say? When I'm down and out, who would still be there? Family's a given, but who's really here to stay for now and who's here to stay for life? And yes, the extent that I'm willing to go? Far, I try as long as it's within my means. My gam friends, holler me and I'll be there.

Every friendship I (still) have now, I'm grateful - sometimes I wonder how they even last. For I know that you, my friends, have had to work hard to keep it alive, because taking the initiative is so not my forte. I don't add people on msn, I seldom add people on fb, I hardly initiate IM convos, and I very very rarely comment on blogs, I can't even remember the last time I had a real phone conversation. And I know not how to console, know not how to advise, know not how to deal if you cry.. err.. it seems I'm pretty much useless in down times. No wonder :x haha.

I think I might have just sparked a whole string of self audit posts, which rock my socks. I heart long and personal entries! And ahh ok.. real work time. Like real real work. Really need to start on real work.

Edit 10.53pm: Oh yes, and my brand of awesome mandarin! Have a good laugh! :D