WARNING: Bitching mode is on!

Trainings have been fantastic! Ever since the competition, we've added resistance (tubing) onto our boats. Now the boats feel really heavy, and go really slow! Well, I hope this will really make me "fly" at the SDBA.

So far, I've tried paddling with Yuen Foong, Xunbin, Liling and Lina (quite some time ago). I really wonder who will Coach pair me up with!

But I hope Coach will not pair me up with *********.

I guess it's pretty obvious why. At first it was still pretty okay. But now, I'm getting more pissed with her with every training. Except for today, cos I felt I was in a better mood.

Anyway, for training today, we did 5 rounds on the K2. First round was still okay. Then she started to slack, and slack even more. By the third round, I just told her, "*********, you're starting to slack!". At least she put in more effort after that. Last round was great! But cos we were too "kan jiong" when sprinting, we were really unstable!

We took the T2 for sprinting. The boat was going incredibly slow, and the sprint seemed neverending. Plus, our direction really suck, probably cos we haven't paddled the T2 for a long time. I really did put in alot of effort in our sprints, yet somehow, the other boats which started way after us always caught up with us. I don't know whether it is because of her, or me. I know our coordination wasn't really good cos I kept hitting her paddle, and my stupid paddle kept hitting the tubing. But while I was extremely fatigued after every sprint, she still seemed so energetic! I really wonder if she really did put her all in the sprints, though she always say she does, and I choose to believe for she's my partner. Yet, sometimes, I can't help but doubt what she says, cos her body doesn't show any signs of tiredness at all.

Oh well. Back to what I was saying, I think her attitude is in dire need of a major overhaul. I don't know whether my comments really get into her. Either she rebutts, cos she thinks she's right, or she remains silent.

Just last training, I told her she was leaning alot on the left, and she came up with this whole theory about if I'm stable and she leans on the right, how come the boat won't tilt right. I mean, she's just countering her leaning right? Then she said, "I'm not leaning left, you're leaning." That really got me fired up! I don't know why, but it just did. And I shouted back, "How you know?". She shutted up.

And she often shouts at me, which I really dislike. Like today, when she needed the boat to go right, and it was not turning fast enough, she just shouted, "Sarah! Turn right!" I'm like, "I know!".

I also find that she's not putting her best in the sprints, that I've mentioned earlier. Even Kah Meng noticed that she didn't look tired at all after the sprints, at the last training. Boats from behind just kept overtaking us. We were always the last few to finish the sprints, but the first to go back to the starting line. And by then, I was already so tired, so she must be the one paddling harder. I was, and am still now, really pissed/disappointed/frustrated/angry!

She still had the guts to tell Daphne that her balance is better than mine, just cos she can paddle on the K1, and I can't. But on the K2, it's a different game altogether. As partners, we gotta work together. We gotta counter each other. We must put our best in every stroke. You can't always depend on me to move the boat. Just like I can't always depend on you to balance. We are supposed to trust each other. Sadly, I feel trust is really lacking in us.

Maybe paddling with Xunbin that very training was a big mistake. Cos it was only after that training did *********'s flaws showed itself so clearly to me. Suddenly I could feel her leaning. Suddenly I realised how slow we are. Suddenly I felt how demoralising her "comments/encouragements" were. As if I wasn't already pissed with her earlier. The sudden realisations made me worse.

When I paddled with Xunbin, everything just seemed so right! Especially in the sprints, I could feel the boat flying, for once! We were really fast! Balance was good. Paddling speed was just right. I could put all my power when I paddled. And I felt that both of us were really paddling our hardest. It was just so fantastic!

Now, I subconsciously set that training as a benchmark. And that's bad. Cos I know I can never recapture the same feeling when paddling with **** *****. Yet, I still constantly refer back to that very training, how perfect everything seemed...

Oh well. Maybe I'm asking too much. Anyway, I'm resigned to my fate of paddling with her, cos I bet no one wants to paddle with her either.

*Sigh* =(

Hmm... After letting it all out, I feel much better!


P.S To all who read this, I don't want ********* to know some of the stuff I wrote, which is precisely why I blog it, and not tell it. So yep. You guys know what to do ya? =)