Well, since I posted my essay a few days ago, I've decided to post an essay written by Shiqian. Though it's kinda crappy, it's really hilarious! You will see what I mean! =)

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COMPOSITION:

They were standing there helplessly watching their friends slithering towards the edge of the pit, I was also petrified and rooted to the spot as I looked on at the group nearing the quarry swiftly......

I had the world all to myself that morning. The countryside, as I walked through it, was solitary and still. The weather was marvellous, with a gentle breeze rustling my hair every now and then. When I glanced over to the short hill nearby, I caught a glimpse of a large yellow school bus. It was very odd, there were no people on the bus, but the engine was running and their belongings was still there. Curious, I ventured forward to see what was happening. That was when I saw the group of people standing watching and the group the danger.

"Hurry! We must get to them before they slide into the quarry!" I shouted, after finding out from a school girl what had happened. Apparently, the new bus driver, John, did not see the danger until it was too late. The wheel hit a rock and sent the three children and him flying out. We managed to get the children safely up but John had knocked his head and was unconscious. We got him out of the quarry and immediately rushed him to the small hospital nearby.

To our horror, we found out that the doctor was away and a new nurse was there to take over. She was very afraid and declined to do the job but since she had a qualification in medical school, we trust that she could do it. With much persuasion and encouragement, she agreed and treated John's wounds. At first she was very nervous and almost messed everything up. However she soon calmed down and did a fine job. I had never met a person with so much talent yet with so little confidence. After everything, she then told us that John was very fortunate to not hit his head against a bigger stone or he would slip into a coma immediately. We were amazed when we heard how lucky John had been as we thanked the nurse profusely for her help.

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Erhem... Let the "pro" comment on this essay! First thing first, the yellow school bus seems so out of place! Second, the yellow school bus was at a short hill nearby. How did you know the engine was still running? You could hear from so far away? Lol. And how did you reach there so soon?

Now you know how it kept me awake? Cos it's way crappy yet real funny! =)